|Posted on April 15, 2018 at 7:30 AM|
Tornado Dreams! Change. Endings, Sudden shifts. Unpredictable paths. Some things come and some things go! Life or Death. Swirling and whirling through life! Interesting all the things associated with wind, force, nature and God.
I have had some weird dreams lately... especially around my catering job. My part time job, that was on top of a full time day job as an admin. This job at first was fun and social and then became work and my means to buying a home and landing somewhere. And then I became the suit I had to wear. I became overworked, two or three jobs is a lot to maintain. This job also came during the cancer of my mom, the loss of my dad, and my giving up on a love life so yes, I was free Saturday nights! I lost my identity in the suit for some reason. It felt heavy. But it is just a suit, that's it. And funny thing is at this point, I am not sure I can maintain this life here in my house I wanted so badly...its quiet and very sheltering but almost too sheltering. I think the answers will come. I know things are changing. I want some fresh life and not old stale energy. I am opening my windows. Anyway in the dream last night... I heard the noise first, and then storms were coming, I could see funnel clouds and a very electric sky ..I didn't know where my kids were.. but left to run out to the barn and hoped that they would make it to safety and Rachel would look up from her cellphone and notice the storms and figure out to get to the shelter before she became Dorothy!! Lol. I worried about them, what mother doesn't? But I went anyway They are adults after all. The weird part was that my catering boss Jill was there supervising during this catastrophe and was telling us to make sure we were dressed in our catering uniforms!! Then there was a piece of pie on the counter and during this crisis of the storms and escaping to my safety....I grabbed a bite on the way out. I was like...fuck it! I want my piece of the pie!!! I want my piece of the pie!! I figure this means that I have hung in there financially through a lot of storms and am tired and ready for change. This is all in my head of course that I have to carry burdens, I mean, I learned this, but I can unlearn it too. Winds blow things away, good and bad. Ce la vi! Out of the ashes as they say. Maybe I have been trying to outrun the wind, impending disaster and it became a way of living, but I am done here. I know one thing... I have always hated that uniform!!!